The Kilbot Factory

It is any surprise that the conservative revolution in Australian politics comes at a time when LSD is a forgotten acronym amongst our youth? Is there any doubt that the lack of acid on our streets is directly responsible for the rise in church activity amongst our best and brightest?

Not in this reporter’s opinion.

The lack of good quality hallucinogens is creating a generation of subservient Australians. No longer excited by ideals of peace, love and mind expansion, The Kids are shunning the counterculture… weak characters looking for a new direction are slipping one by one into the conservative cluches of the Liberal Party.

Members of the Labor faithful are asking, “What are we to do?” Here’s what you do. Put Mark Latham at the wheel of the LaborFM Thunderbus and for the next three years he drives around Australia handing out free Kool-Aid and hosting acid tests in every townhall. The People will know he has arrived when they hear the 2007 campaign song from mounted speakers on the bus… Kevin Rudd will play bongos dressed as a court jester, Lindsay Tanner will speak beat poetry through a megaphone… and perhaps “Howard’s battlers” will forget about their hip pocket when they’re skinny dipping in the lake with Julia Gillard.
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The next three years

I am now ready to consider options for the future. My anger has subsided a little (note the absence of swearing), but I am still deeply depressed by the outcome of the election. I have spent the last two days like most people I know; in bed with a bottle of wine.

I have read on other sites lots of comments to quit our whinging, to accept the result, learn from our mistakes and move on. We will do this. We have managed to smile under a Howard government for eight and a half years, and we will smile again… but please give us a chance to grieve.

I throw the comments section open to ideas and suggestions for the next three years.

Howard Lies

I have been busy taking my message to the street over the last week, that’s why there have been no posts… but you all know what I would have said.

End The Lies, October 3rd

I know you must be getting sick of the political postings on kilbot.net lately… there is only 9 days to go, then we can get back to music and dockers discussions (draft picks, pre-season, yay!).

This Sunday is the End The Lies protest against the Howard Government.

• Melbourne 1.30pm State Library, City
• Perth 1pm Perth Cultural Centre Amphitheatre (opp. Alexander Library, James St)

Things are starting to trickle in Labor’s direction; the media has been favourable, centrebet has shortened the odds… but now we need to open the flood-gates of popular opinion. Hundreds of millions of thousands of voters packing the streets to protest against Howard could only help the cause and embiggen Latham’s heart for the last week of the campaign.

Sea Shantastic

This is from Crikey… if only we had it for International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

A new sea shanty

What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
Ear-ly in Octo-ber.

Put him down last don’t re-elect him.
Put him down last don’t re-elect him.
Put him down last don’t re-elect him.
Ear-ly in Octo-ber.

One down, two to go

About a week ago Fancy Dave predicted that if the Lions won the Grand Final then the Coalition would win the election. A win for the Lions, he argued, would show that cosmic forces were smiling on the status quo… if fate gave a fourth premiership to Brisbane, the Howard government would be given a fourth term.

Being slightly superstitious I knew he was right. And the paranoid division of my superstition extended his theory further; a win for Brisbane would mean a win for Howard and in-turn a win for Bush… the fate of the world would rest with right-wing Christians hell-bent on starting a religious war with Muslims, the rivers and oceans would boil with blood and that cocky French prophet Nostradamus would climb from his grave just to waggle his zombie finger in our face and say “I told you so”.

Needless to say I was quite relieved when Port won… given that the stakes are so high.

Poster campaign ends

Sadly the Queens Pde poster campaign has ended prematurely. At 2am this morning, two idiots stood at the front of the house and threatened to smash the windows. I sleep at the back of the house and was unaware of the abuse which apparently included a threat to come back at 4am with Molotov cocktails. The two flatmates who sleep at the front of the house were understandably shaken and the poster has been taken down.

I’m just sad that I slept through all the commotion, in my current mood I would have enjoyed a little rumble with some right-wing rabble-rousers… sure, I may weigh 65kgs and wear velour pyjamas, but I think a flying Kilbot would have given them something to think about.

The Queens Pde campaign will continue but we will be taking another tact… the only thing more depressing than another three years of Howard is the idea that we all say nothing.

In other news, the Liberals have announced they will direct their preferences to those “kooky” Greens in the seat of Melbourne. This is a another case of political opportunism by the Howard Government – not to mention hypocrisy – but it highlights a predicament that many left-leaning voters will face this election; does one still vote for the Greens if it is going to work against the Labor Party? I have volunteered to help the Greens on election day, just as I did last election. I will be voting Greens 1, Labor 2, just as I did last election… although I am quietly relieved that I am still enrolled to vote for the seat of Curtin in Perth, rather than in my new electorate of Melbourne.

I look forward to the day when my vote will be for a Green government rather than a Labor preference.

Queens Pde Campaign

The poster campaign at Queens Parade has begun. Some flatmates were a little concerned that we might get a brick through the window but I don’t anticipate any problems, Clifton Hill is in a very safe Labor seat… we are preaching to the converted but the window does face the tram line, a set of traffic lights and the Mosskito Bar, so hopefully we might ruin someone’s lunch.

I found a really cheap place in Collingwood who do A0 photocopies for $2.81 (Copy World on the corner of Johnston and Hoddle for those in the area), so we will try to change the poster as often as possible before the election. I’m calling out to y’all for design/slogan ideas… naturally I will post photos of all posters here at kilbot.net, plus you’ll get that warm-fuzzy feeling of publicly denouncing John Howard.

(Thanks to JohnHowardLies.com for the images).

—–EXTENDED BODY:
<center><img src=”http://www.kilbot.net/news/uploads/car.jpg” alt=”Liar” style=”border: 1px solid black;” /><br />You will be able to see it from the road… unless you are looking the wrong way.<br /><br /><img src=”http://www.kilbot.net/news/uploads/tram.jpg” alt=”Liar” style=”border: 1px solid black;” /><br />It will be visible from the tram, especially if it stops at the lights.

Media Bias

The Reader has produced a nice little spectrum of bias in Australian journalism, which may be handy for those who pick and choose their news sources… as Curtis T. Lee once said to me, “If you're going to read a bias newspaper, best you read one which shares your bias.”

True Socialist – Adele Horin (SMH)
True Socialist – Phillip Adams (ABC Radio, The Australian)
Libertarian Left – Mike Carlton (2UE, SMH)
Libertarian Left – Jon Faine (ABC Radio)
Small 'L' Liberal – Alan Ramsey (SMH)
Small 'L' Liberal – Kerry O'Brien (ABC TV)
Moderate Left – Laurie Oakes (Channel Nine, The Bulletin)
Straight-as-a-die, her only bias is towards truth in political coverage – Michelle Grattan (The Age)
Moderate Right – Ross Gittins (SMH)
Moderate Right – John Laws (2UE)
'Tory' Values – Robert Gottliebsen (The Australian)
Arch-Conservative – Alan Jones (2GB)
Red Neck – Steve Price (2UE)
Red Neck – Neil Mitchell (3AW)
Attila the Hun – Andrew Bolt (Herald Sun)

(thanks to Crikey)

Mike Moore sticks it to George W again

Mike Moore has a new book coming out called Dude, Where's My Country
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