AKA - Final Fight.
Apparently the Dockers have only won twice at Football Park and three times against the Port Adelaide Football Club. Does this concern me? Fuck no!
Port are a spent force. A Fremantle win will stitch up 7th spot for the purple army.
KEY: Pav is unstoppable, like Zabka in Shootmaster and Shootmaster II. Port's ruckmen will be no match for Grimlock. Freo - too much drive in the midfield and too many forward options for Port to counter.
The GFC have a big percentage but North (sorry, 'Kangaroos') are unlikely to fall to Carlton so the Cats will hang on to 6th after handing out a hiding to Richmond at KP.
This leaves Geelong playing Fremantle in the first week of the finals, in Victoria. Hopefully not at the MCG - Freo's home away from home - but at the Dome, which both teams hate.
Prediction? GFC by 7 points despite 5 goals from the Pav.
KEY: Jimmy Bartel. Baldy Chapman is back, and several Geelong stars will be fully recovered like the currently half-fit Steve “Shuffle” Johnson, Lord Henry Playfair and Tom Harley. GFC defence and midfield too strong. Wildcard - the Baby Jesus.
(Note: If Freo buck my prophecy and win this final they will go ALL THE WAY).
The Dogs will win and knock the Dees - who will lose to the Dons - out. If I am mistaken in that regard, North will knock the Dees straight out of the finals and on to their punk asses anyway.
KEY: Melbourne are soft. North are lead by the Junk Yard Dog - Dean “Hardest Man Alive” Laidley.
In the event of North vs Footscray, the mighty Dogs will get up.
KEY: Rohan Smith.
Sydney will lose to Adelaide because Football Park isn't a postage-stamp like their own deformed home patch.
KEY: Football Park is not a postage stamp.
The Dirty Birds will cling to top spot and face the Saints. The DBs will win in Perth, and then win again, and then be crushed by the Saints in the Grand Final.
KEY: The Grand Final is not played at Subiaco Oval.
Saints for the flag, Dirty Birds running up, unless Freo win against the GFC in the first week of the finals.
Discuss.
Blazin Billy Zabka says:
My recollections of Shootmaster II basically involve heated disputes over character development - they were all "just be like the punk from Karate Kid…and Back To School…and Karate Kid 2", and so I'm like "no way dude, don't even go there or I'll sweep yer leg okay?"…My next film will be with Heath Ledger
As to your "predictions"…NIGGA PLEEZ!
From a purely objective standpoint, there is no way in hell the Mighty F'n Deez are *not* making the finals! We made a pledge to Mrs Broadbridge that we would stop at NOTHING SHORT of a premiership to bury with Troy in a time capsule to be opened when cryogenic freezing is a viable option…
Lest we forget - at Round 9 of 2005, Melbounre were FAR AND AWAY the 2nd best team in the comp! Beautiful free-flowing football, and now our Brownlow Smoky, They Still Call Him Bruce, is back in the fold…
Rating the chances:
Weasles - So they apparently can't win in "Melbourne"…Skilled/ Spazza Stadium is NOT the MCG! Their only downfall might be if they have to play a "home" final against Freo…then again, look what happened last time
Crows - fuck 'em! Honestly, who outside of Neil Shane Troy Craig or anyone from inside the State Of The Bogan Serial Killer give a shit? Bunch of no-namers who have overachieved, who just ooooze bogan "class" (nee Bombers '00, Cats '95)
Swans - everyone's "sentimental" feel-good backup GF option. I'll admit it, I like Goodes, Bruiser and SchniederMan, but really seem to be a 2nd-tier team - will struggle on full-sized grounds
Saints - one Hamill/Reiwoldt injury from losing it all again! Even though their cattle is as rated as Weasles, they don't have NOUS! Hey, who put the Official Moritorium on railing on the Tigers for missing the 8 AGAIN!?!? Did I miss the memo?
Kangas - haha Reverse Kanga! They're just bloody battlers who try their guts out and don't know when to quit - kinda like Craig McLachlan…let's not forget - they won about 3 in a row recently, all coming back from 30+ points down to win in a heartattack…WELL GUESS WHO'S MASTERED THAT SHIT NOW!!!! (*hint: 2inarow!)
Cats - pretenders. Honestly, what kind of form is losing the clutch game, then whitewashing the easy one, both at home? Not enough consistent runners, and Ottens, Kingsley and Mooney together spell "ERRATIC"! The Bearded Lady aka The Freakshow aka Ablett Jr Jr will have NO affect on the rest of this season…it's not like he was Shaun Tait, waiting in the wings for some out of form old timer to drop out - they just needed the cash!!
Dongers - wonder if McAnus is in serious consideration - well, they have to beat Port in AAMI to make it, so there's some credentials - hey, wasn't it *last year* Ding Dong Bell was watching his team crumble from the sidelines? Selfish bastard! If it were up to me, this would be James "Ghost Who Plays 100 Games" Walker make/break season! Serisouly, how does that cunt earn a living by having a career average NEVER higher than 15 possessions? F'n Rowan Jones is better!
Mighty Deez - premiership favourites. Gelling at the right time of the season. Have actual motivation to win (ie Spiritual healing, as opposed to the almighty $$ - f'n sellouts!).All players coming back from injury at right time. Best colours in the game. Everyone's Secret 2nd Team. Play the game fast and direct, with finesse. Will win every game by under one straight kick to win the hearts of the nation replacing Brizzys' 3peat as Toyota New Most Memorable Moment In the History Of The Game!
$BDW$ GF Predictolator:
Weasles -v- Deez
OR
Weasles -v- Crows (fuck me!)
$BDW$
Giovanni says:
At Round 9, 2005, the GFC were 2nd, 7 and 2 with a bigger % than the Dirty Birds. So stick that in your hooka and smoke it.
While not completely off the sick bed ("Oh" Brad and David Wojinski will be out for the season) Corey II, David Johnson, Josh 'The New Superboot' Hunt and Baldy are on the way back.
This means Bomber is set to cry havoc, and let slip the cats of war.
Giovanni says:
Well fuck this. The GFC are playing like punk bitches against Richmond and the Dockers are out.
It's time for Nostradamo to hang up his crystal ball and go play some soccer.
KL says:
Geeves, never make any predictions ever again.
You are a jinx.
Blazin Billy Zabka says:
Yeah, NostradamWHAT??
100% wrong mein freund!
matt says:
FREO SUCK THE WANG