The Kilbot Factory blog

IT'S A CELEBRATION BITCHES!
FINALLY, a mainpage article we can all read and rail on!
Yes faithful, The Bigg Daddy has returned to the mainframe ready to inflict some sage advice and profanity-laced punishment to all'n'sundry who dare to not “bring the realness”…

—–EXTENDED BODY:
Now I'm sure the first thing buzzing in ya braincells right now is "MUST KILL FROG", but after that, most likely "Wassup wit a hardcore pipe-hittin' fool like ma mang, Da Buxx, messin around with some pantywaist-wearin' freaky-deaky Electric Boogaloo orchestra sheeeat!"

First off - waddup wit da ebonics dawg? And secondly - to set the topic for the agenda, I'm sure we've all experienced those Penny-Dropping moments in history, where once the truth is revealed a collective dog-whine "WaaaaAWWW!" appears on one's face! But its not just in the finding out - to expand on the Penny-Drop, I have created the phrase Penny-Ripple to describe the revelations and ramifications which become apparent after the finding out! Popular examples include, finding out that all your great comic icons from the 80s *all* originated from Saturday Nite Live (Chase, Murray, Murphaaaay!), how it was a "anti-climax" when George Michael came out (i thought he was still sowing oats and that Gay = Marilyn!) or when you realised why kids gave you shit at school by referring to "Your Two Dads"…Today, its all about tha Musical Penny-Ripples babeeee - a must-read for all ScarfRockers! (suckaz!)

<center></center>

ELO = Electric Light Orchestra = Easy Listenin Overlords!!
Yeah I bought the Best Of last week - I'll fight ya! But in the context of this article, and prefacing all future statements in the knowledge that for BD DubSac being The Best Dude Like Ever to admit his fallabilities in musical history is a big ask, so bear with me as I explain this most recent Penny-Drop…

Basically, I knew ELO sang "Its A Living Thing", which is one of those Rock Hudson tracks (ie secretly gay but totally choice! aka the Guilty Pleasure) and being the free-wheelin' and dealin' cat that I am (and recognising "Don't Let Me Down" on the back), I comprehensively purchased said Best Of.

Now, I turn the CD cover to read the revelation - The Penny-Drop - The Great Moment, if you will:
"all words and songs by: Jeff Lynne

Now, if Fancy will just keep it down for a minute, to me - this was a revelation…the "WaaaaAWWW Fuck yeah, this guy who writes Beatles/ Beach Boy harmonies singing every song about "all over the m'fn world" and sounds exactly like George Harrison and Roy Orbinson's last two records, is that same fuckin guy who I've always wondered "Who the Fuck Is That Fifth Guy" in the Travelling Wilbury's!!"

[The Penny-Ripple] Now I know why all Travelling Wiblury's songs sound like 4 famous dudes on an ELO track! Still not sure where Jeff gets off fusing Queen with Beach Boys and why he has an afro…or how the fuck one man constitutes an entire goddam orchestra!

<center></center>

Earth, Wind and Motherfuckin Fire = Soul/ Disco/ R&B Sensations of the 70s
Man, I love their shit! They rock some slow freaky shit, some uptempo disco grooves - they perfected having 82 people on stage with 4 on instruments and 78 on vocals, in some tripped out one-piece superhero costume shit! Masters Of The Danciverse. Okay, so yeah, "Fantasy" is another Rock Hudson fave of mine, and some may group "September" in there also…

So there I am flicking through the gateway foldout, trying to find the bit about where the Coke pile wasn't big enough for 82 mouths, when who should I find out is leading this shit:
lyrics and lead vocals: Phillip Bailey

PHIL "THE PHUCK" BAILEY!!

Hang on - wasn't there some hella random thin-tie wearin' freak hanging out with Phil Collins in the mid-80s? "Easy Lover", "Chinese Wall"???

[The Penny-Ripple] I always wondered how they could keep a brother down with an 18-octave vocal range! The man could sang! (have you *heard* those notes at the end of "Fantasy" and "After The Love Is Gone" - El Castrato homes!) Well hey, it was the 80s, and Phil's were taking solace in each other! "Easy Lover" is a rocking song, possibly only so due to Bailey's appearance and his submissive demeanour which allows him to humour the creative-vacuum that is Phil "Suedif'nwhat?" Collins. Phil Bailey is Da Mang mang!

<center></center>

Chicago = Not Boston = Celine Dion considers them "hard"
Okay, now we enter The Ben Affleck Zone, where the songs are considered so mainstream and, well, gay, that it is hard to profess your love for their beauty except over 40 beers at a local karaoke joint…(seriously, I can watch Affleck in Kevin Smith movies - thats it! he peaked in f'n Mallrats!)

Always wondered who did that really timeless song about "leave me now" taking "my biggest part away", french horns, sweeping orchestral arrangements - or that other one about everybody "needing a little time away" and my *still to this day controversial* stance on the phrasing of the third verse "After all the whoooo(WTF?) we've been through". They rock a soft ballad harder than Extreme!!

So, I'm sifting through my beloved gate-fold (as Matty Milner never taught me), and lo' and behold:
lyrics and vocals: Peter Cetera

Oh My God…..
Just one Hall from Hall & Oates-lookalike mu'fuckka is churning out this gold?? Haven't I heard this kinds of 80s rock pap a million other times before?….

[The Penny-Ripple] Now, if you haven't seen Karate Kid, I'd venture to say you've either a) not been born, b) got a BETA and ain't changing, or c) are standing on some crazy principle that Scott Baio should've got that role man! "Glory Of Love" is a seminal montage/ fighting/ fighting for love/ winning over chicks with fighting….for love!/ chicks before fighting/ love over fighting but still must be fighting-fight/love ballads of ALL TIME! Guess who sang that one too….This dude basically wrote my entire teenage soundtrack, which spookily actually involved a crusty old martial arts instructor, moving to Jersey (Mandurah), and Billy Zabka! No shit!

So now its back to you, dear shithead (just testing to see if anyone read to this point), to state your…
GREAT MOMENTS IN PENNY-DROPPING [MUSICAL] HISTORY!!

$BDW$
Deez4Premiers05

I'm sure the Melbournites would have already read the Herald Scum from cover to cover, but I post this for the benefit of our interstate/national readers. What a nice old lady right?

Wrong! Read on…
—–EXTENDED BODY:
She's all right! She's all right! She's all right with me!

Neil Charles Rabinowitz and his conglomerate - found: quantity of sheep - are launching their album DVD the evening of Thursday, July 7th.

Perth people head to Lune Leederville for the 7pm screening of the songs and the films made by a series of local movie makers commissioned by f:qs.

Guy Hamilton Howlett, Rabinowitz, Michael Winlo et al and Giovanni Torre himself are among the film-makers.

Selah!

As some of you know I have been at business school for the last 8 weeks putting together some sort of plan for the commercial arm of The Kilbot Factory. The official launch date of The Kilbot Factory as a business is August 1st and things are starting to develop over at www.kilbot.com.au. I will be releasing new stuff all through July, including a major update of kilbot.net (did someone say version 2?). Apart from a design overhaul, the main feature of kilbot.net v.2 will be a switch to Wordpress as a content management system, making it easier for everyone to share news, rants, pictures and links.

The Kilbot Factory shop will also open on August 1st. After a brief fling with cottage industry, I have decided to get the goods produced properly here in Melbourne. Big Daddy Wallbuxx may just get his shirt after all.

At this stage you're probably thinking “How can I get involved?” or may be “When does this get fun?”, well… to start with you could fill out this fun survey.