The Kilbot Factory

Or try the <a href="http://www.drunkcyclist.com/prison_name_generator.htm">Prison Name Generator</a>.

Since you have been going by Paul D. Kilbot for many years already, why not make a subtle change, to Paul <em>Danger</em> Kilbot, which would allow you to make the really lame joke, "Danger's my middle name," but if you did it with a slight Sean Connery accent it would be quite fetching I think and okay I'm rambling now...

Also... after Arnie drops Sully to his death...

Girl: Where's Sully?
Matrix: I let him go.

Kilbot - you should change your name to Brannon Valmadre. That name kicks arse.

[img]http://www.chax.net/g-kurumi~am2.gif[/img]

Hell yeah, I'm easily annoyed and particularly judgemental.

Right now I'm annoyed because I have to waste my time typing when I already know what I'm going to write. How long is it going to take all the dumb ass scientists to get computers that just read your mind? Hasn't anyone told them they're all wasting their time on freaking cold fusion? Shit fools, you dumb ass scienticians better listen up.

Then again, this entry would probably have boobies as every second word if I had a direct mind link.

New thread idea: Scientists are dumb asses and should have thought of <insert idea> already.

This way we can rant about two of my favourite areas of thought: 1) stupid things scientists have done and inventors have invented; and b) stupid things I'd like to see occur but because I'm not a dumb ass scientist or crackpot-tool-shed-owning-alsatian-patting-banjo-playing-blue-grass-obsessing-inventor I can't make happen.

Feel free to ignore this post. I'm very bored at work.

"Veronica decides to die" by Paulo C is thought-provoking at least. It's about a woman who goes in search of nothing, finds something, it gets sad, lots of people die and shit...

Not ENTIRELY unlike G's synopsis, but not crap by any means. As for the rest, they may well be as annoying as you say.You're not easily annoyed, are you?

Paolo Conte. Awesome bluesy sort of a cross between an Italian Tom Waits and a mellow Django Rhinehart.

That description doesn't really do him justice...

How about this: The smokey, understated tones of his voice betray years of committed whiskey drinking, while his songs conjure images of dark haired women in blood red drifting languidly through the rising smoke of French blues clubs in the false darkness of the early morning hours.

Nah, that's crap too.

Good name though. Wish my name was Paolo Conte...

I shall return verily to thee just in time to give my Match Report of WWE Smackdown April 9th Burswood...

*DONG*....

THE UNDERTAKER! TOMBSTONE!11LOL11!!
Off to Qld tomorra, then 4hrs to transfer to plane to The Killing Fields aka Nam, then back for *DONG*...obviously the hits for this page will drop some 890%, but I will leave you with this quote to remember me by (just in case I have some flashbacks, start wearing chainmail and end up in a Roulette Pool ala Walken in Deer Hunter)...

[b]Matrix:[/b] (vis Arnie axsent) Come on, Bennett, throw away that chicken-shit gun. You don't just want to pull a trigger. Put the knife in me and look me in the eye and see what's going on in there when you turn it.

[b]Bennet:[/b] (eye visibly twitching) I don't need a gun to kill you Matrix, YA HEAR ME?? I'M GUNNA KILL YOO MATRIX I'M GUNNA AAAARRRHGIIIIIIII...UIUAAGHAHHHHHEE
[img]http://www.kilbot.net/news/uploads/bennet.jpg[/img]

[Matrix has thrown a pipe through Bennett]
[b]Matrix:[/b] Let off some steam, Bennett.

Oh God, in all good faith, I can't keep these gems from you either, Allah Akbhar Factorians!

Bennett: I really love listening to your little piss head soldiers trying to talk tough. They make me laugh. If Matrix was here, he'd laugh too.
(funny coz its true!)
----

Sully: Here's twenty dollars to get some drinks in Val Verde. It'll give us all a little more time with your daughter.
Henriques: Heh.
Matrix: You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
(cut to Matrix holding Sully over a cliff!)
Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied.
(HAHA! Gold, he killed that sumbitch DED! Then ripped off his Porsche!)


Cooke: You scared motherfucker? Well you should be because this green beret is going to kick your big ass.
Matrix: I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry.
Cindy: I can't believe this macho bullshit.
(its true, he did eat him for breakfast, and punched his head sideways!)
-

Matrix: Don't break radio silence until they see me.
Cindy: How will I know?
Matrix: Because all fucking hell is going to break loose
(see? he doesn't just talk shit - he backs it up! see below)
--

Gen. Kirby: Keep on the airwaves and let me know if you hear anything unusual.
Soldier: I'll keep at it. What are you expecting?
Gen. Kirby: World War Three.
(Nukes and shit! Just to get his daughter back - true, it was a young Alyssa Milano)
---

Gen. Kirby: Leave anything for us?
Matrix: Just bodies.
(more like, "Jus Bahdees")
-

Matrix: [reading about Boy George in a pop magazine] Why don't they just call him Girl George? It would cut down on the confusion.
(I bet Arnie *insisted* on having that line there, to show his versatility!)

And this last bit of trivia is stunning!

"During the scene in the shed, after Matrix cuts the soldier's arm off, he was originally supposed to hit the victim with it and tell him to shut up. This scene was edited out as being too macabre."
Just when I thought the movie couldn't *be* more awesome!

$BDW$

nice work KL.. this thread is over. what's next?

<img src="http://kilbot.homeip.net/kilbot/pics/retard.jpg" alt="retard" />

I was referring to the pronunciation of the name 'Paulo' - I couldn't think of any other well-known 'Paulo's'. I haven't and do not care to read any of the writer's work. And Paul, you are a real charmer.

And in true kilbot.net tradition, I would like to declare this thread closed with a flashing gif:

[img]http://shek.0catch.com/images/kickboy.gif[/img]

Thank you and good night.

I think Paulo Coelho is a retard, but not a particularly amusing one. This is my plot synopsis for all of his books (I've read two of them and they were both crap so don't try and tell me any different and pretend I don't know what I'm talking about)...
Man goes on journey looking for something
Man finds something that is different to what he was looking for
Man realises the treasure is within
Man still doesn't cut himself open to get the treasure which I find puzzling

Paulo's new-age pseudo-mystical bullshit makes me angry. Let's go burn some stuff...
yeah, burny stuff.

You are a retard.

No wait... retards are funny somtimes. You are a fucking disgrace.

I personally think that Dweebius Kilboticus has a certain endearing ring to it

Paulo (as in Paulo Coelho) certainly sounds more exotic than Paul...but in your case I guess that won't do... ^_^ hmmm, I'll keep thinking

Is it just me, or do those robots look a bit too happy with themselves...

Grimlock no like No-Name-Trucker-Bot!

Geeves: More late nights with Alex and Transformers??? Thought you would've been onto the Carebears already

Speaking of Transformers:

[img]http://cheston.com/pbf/PBF042ADRefridgeron.jpg[/img]

Hmm. In the Transformers comics there was a Deceptacon named Scorponok. It's not a flash name in itself but made think of Frank Scorpio.

P. Scorpio Kilbot Factory

P. Scorpio Factory, which sounds kind of like F. Scott Fitzgerald, so it's good.

Zaxxon? Hmm. I'm told that Zareen in Farsi means the light radiating from a diamond. If you could find the Farsi word for the light radiating out of your arsehole you could use that as a name...

Selah!

It'd have to be Hot Rod, not Rodimus Prime. I never did agree with his assumption of power.

D'you remember that Loafery new years (2000/2001??) when we were eating fish n chips and BANG right off the bottom of that too-small plastic tartaire sauce cup you and Cath Green chose the name for your first child: Hygenic Lily. Very zen. But maybe that's a girl's name? Anyways, I've given up all hope of you fathering Cath's child, so you'll just have to use it yourself.

Although I reckon you can't beat Zaxxon for a middle name. X hits the spot.

Soundwave turned into a stereo... so did that red fucker.

Good transformer names include:

Rodimus Prime
Shockwave
Jazz (unisex)
Mix Master
Devestator
Sky Fire (for a girl)
Ultra Magnus
Rumble - "First we crack the shell, then we crack the nuts inside"
Ravage
Grimlock (already taken)
Megatron
Bruticus
Cyclonus
Ironside

not so good transformer names:

Goldbug
Bumble Bee
Slag
Cup
Thunder Cracker
Wheeljack

did I mention Slag? Slag for fuck's sake!

Have to agree with you on this one Billy, I mean I like the auto theme the kids have chosen but surely they could have gone with something a bit more exciting... Popupcaravan?! What the fuck special powers does a Pop-up-caravan have?

<a href="http://cybertronchronicle.freewebspace.com/sound-repository/voicegallery/autobots/movie.html" target="_blank">Ultra Magnus</a>, now that's a good name. Or Rodimus Prime, or that one that turned into a stereo.. whatever his name was.

No offence to those kids, but I could shit better names than that...

I guess they could find that offensive, IF THEY COULD READ HOHOHOHO!!!

FLAME ON BILLY BOY!

My 3 year old wants to name his impending brother Racing Car. It's still a chance, but if we don't formally endorse it, you could do worse.

My sister has some stupid hippy friends who were having their second child. They told the first child they could name the new baby whatever the hell they wanted in a desperate bid to stave off infantile jealousy. The kid picked the name 'Popupcaravan'. It's legal! These people are allowed to breed! They call the little girl Poppy, which is an equally stupid name.

Personally I'm just glad my parents didn't name me Chad. I'd hate to be playing for the Eagles right now (gratuitous in joke but isn't everything on kilbot.net?)

I was thinking of changing my name from Giovanni Torre to Giovanni La Manna Torre. My grandfather, Antonio La Manna, was the last male La Manna in Australia.

So, Paul Damien Kilmurray, do not change your name unless using it to pay tribute to an ancestor. e.g. change your name to Paul Damien Ned Kelly Kilmurray.

Hmm.

Preston Preston of the Boston Prestons.

Kilbot Kilbot Factory.

Paul Kilbot O'Factory.

I've received mail addressed to G. Zonne before. And today someone on the phone thought I said my name was Steve.

Steve? Giovanni? who can blame them?

Maybe you should change your name to Ryan Batchelor before he becomes a big shot, then run against him in his seat...

I still get mail addressed to Dr Hirsch (which is a reality in the making) and Rev Dr Hirsch (also in the making...).

I think you should have two middle names, either 'Quentin Charles' or 'Stephen Cornelius'. That way, you can write your name as Kilbot, Paul QC or SC without taking silk (that's lawyer talk, biatch).

I get mail sent to me addressed:

"The Department of Justice"!

sorta like the "The Justice League", and yes, I am Black Lightning!

KBo that card is gold, literally and figuratively. Well, bronze at least.

Mrs D's brother (lets call him Mr P for now) had a mate working in the UWA Alumni Office a few years back. So his entry on the UWA Alumni database is now officially:

[b]Squadron Leader Daniel Pearce[/b]

So when he gets mail from UWA, that's the address on the label. Priceless.

Yes indeed, he also tried to change his name to Mark Bert Newton Genge... a letter from Bert hung on the mantle piece in the living room which said something to the effect of; 'if it's legal it's alright by me'. Unfortunately the forces that be in W.A. declared it to be "against the public interest". Stupid nanny-state.

Which brings me to a little someone named Mark Genge or, as Killer and I like to call him despite having being legally prevented from changing his name to it, Mark Bronwynbishop.

Bare in mind that this was back in those heady university days of the mid to late 1990s when Bronwyn Bishop was (very) arguably at her political peak, at least awareness-wise.

I vaguely recall there was a similar attempt made by Genge but the specifics escape me. Killer may be able to fill in the gaps a little bit here...

For those unfamiliar with Genge, it really doesn't matter who it was but merely that he tried to change his name to Mark Bronwynbishop. For those who don't know who Bronwyn Bishop is, you're probably better for it.

For those not familiar with Genge OR Bronwyn Bishop, this is no place for you. There is no place for you.

As boring as I'm gonna be...you cannot legally change your name to anything offensive or stupid. I've already looked into this!! See what you can get away with though...

actually, funny you should say that... I already have Baron on my Frequent Flyer card.
<center><img src="http://kilbot.homeip.net/kilbot/pics/ffcard.jpg" alt="Baron von Kilbot" /></center>

Well this is a good question...

I wonder if you are allowed to change your name to legal titles, such as Baron von Kilbot.

I mean one of my alter egos is Doctor DJ Baron von Boombah, which really has two official terms in it (Doctor and Baron). Anyone can call thrmselves a DJ these days. Just look at Pharmhouse Phreaq for example.

Could you be King Paulie de Kilbot-Factory?

Pound4Pound
The MeatAxe
Blazin Billy Zabka
Bigg Daddy Wallbuxx
Percy Fortesque-Payne
Donga
Mohammed
J-Dawg
The Bigg Pizza
Round Mound Of Sound
Widowmaker
Ultimate Cynic
KopKilla
Ravishing Rick ROOOOOOD Dude!
...

as long as there's a verb or adverb in there somewhere - like Run, or Quick!
althought I think you could handle:
Rupert! - sounds like a bear...

I'm partial to the occasionally used Uncle Paulie. As in "Hey Kids! Uncle Paulie's not wearing any underwear...". But this coud be deemed criminal purposes in a Michael Jackson kind of way.

We actually had a call at the office a couple of weeks ago from a guy representing a third party who had been contacted by a range of Perth media following the posting on Ebay of an opportunity to bid on the rights to name the woman's impending baby - for a price of course. I believe the idea was that you could actually [i]brand[/i] the baby, which is fairly fucked up but entrepreneurial nonetheless in a middle-American, trailer-park, "I'll do anything to get money to pay for my next fix of Wendy's burgers" kind of way...

We declined to act on their behalf with media.

The point though, is that there are opportunities all around us to make a quick buck if we just look outside the square. I think putting the rights to your name up for grabs is a fantastic way of building up the coffers. Play the parents off against one another. I know Marie has always harboured a lingering yearning to have a son named Gilbert, or Gil, and this could be the perfect opportunity to revisit that battle ground of nigh-on 28 years ago and potentially redress the narrow margin of defeat that led to you being named Paul (or Paulie, as I like to say).

In closing, can I just throw my hat into the ring with a bid of $2.35 for the name Banjo. A tribute to a great Australian balladeer and a sweet instrument in the hands of Bela Fleck.

I think what you really need is a hyphen in your last name. It will make you seem more impressive plus let you break into the ranks of the aristocracy more easily. Something really hi-falluting like P. Diddy Kilbot-Factory. Personaly I think you should include quoation marks such as in the name Paul "Killer" Kilbot-Factory.
Randoire La Rouche is also a good name As is anything including the words Heimstead or Stymie.