Feb200514

kilbot

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I love you (Miss Servebot)

I have been missing in action for the last 3 or so weeks… not returning friend’s calls and emails, declining offers of dinner, drinks and parties, barely leaving the house except for the necessary trips to the bottleshop 100m down the road. I need not for friends or parties or anything because I have a new love*.

Here she is, Miss Servebot;

Naked Server

That is her on the desk behind the laptop, all naked and shit. She is a PII, 333Mhz, 196MB RAM with 100Gb disk space, not much in desktop terms but plenty for any immediate serving needs. I spent 3 weeks installing Linux (Debian), making mistakes, reinstalling, configuring and firewalling, reinstalling, etc… and now she sits, headless, in the storeroom just outside my bedroom.

Servebot 3000

At the moment Servebot is just a test Apache/PHP/MySQL server for web design, and she takes care of my music downloads while I sleep (this morning I woke up to 1.7Gig of new Disco-Funk tracks … best Valentine’s Day present ever). Eventually she will act as a centralised mp3 server/downloader for our house and sometime after that I’ll open up some webpages to the interweb, including the long awaited premium-$25/mth-members-only webcam of Kilbot’s bedroom (Jerry gets a month free because he bought the first Kilbot Factory shirt never to be made, which is still coming by-the-way).

So anyways, that’s what I did on my summer holidays. I hope that answers some of your questions.

*Love may turn out to be infatuation.

  • theHirsch
    i for one will be disappointed if my $25 webcam access doesn't include spooge scenes. i mean, otherwise it should only be $5 (since killer spooge on its own is $20)...
  • Blazin Billy Zabka
    just to clear any potential confusion -
    Miss "DIYAMN bitch, You Got" Servedbot 3000 is in NO WAY related to CompuTron 3000...

    [u]4 Handy Hints to Help You Distinguish[/u]

    1) CompuTron 3000 has an "On" switch which plays an Atari-2600-esque medley upon ignition;

    2) CompuTron 3000 can alter your voice to make you sound like a robot, providing you are talking like a robot, ie Daryl Somers;

    3) CompuTron 3000 has inbuilt feature ne'er seen in computerology since Richard Pryor's devestating creation in "Superman 3"* - see: Laugh Track, Applause

    4) CompuTron 3000 is one of the only machines which has the technological capabilities to accommodate usage by Rick Allen, aka the one-armed drummer from Dos Leppardos - see: drum pad creates up to 4 noises;

    *Bonus) Do not be perturbed by the label reading "For Ages 8+!" - left unchecked, this machine in the wrong hands could bring about the apocalypse, eg the complete eradication of Coffee Chill

    (*NB: I accidently typed in "Supreman", and that got me thinking how awesome it would be to have a local Perthanality "superhero" wearing pink/ aqua/ black slip dresses and trucker caps!...slashing prices in half statewide! by 'awesome' i mean, 'watchable')
  • killer
    That is very true Frog and displays a level of extreme robo-love that I never knew you had (though probably should have guessed).

    At the moment I am calling her Miss Deb Servebot (3000), in honour of Debian and Debbie Does Dallas (the musical not the movie).
  • frog
    she's more GNU than Linux, but pretty hot nevertheless
  • Barney
    Is that BDW in his younger (and slimmer) days, second from right?
  • Blazin Billy Zabka
    Here ya go!

    [img]http://www.sonypictures.com//groups/us/documents/image/gp050112.jpg[/img]
  • Lu
    Can you build a boy one for me?
  • Barney
    Jesus, Roly. You couldn't be a little more romantic?
  • roly
    Killer

    Can I come and get some of that Valentine's Day surprise sometime soon?
  • Taco
    If there were a race of giant Sicilians, who would make the giant knives? Just a query.
    (submit)
  • Giovanni
    We must breed an army of giant Greeks and Sicilians to kill and eat the giant squid.

    We'll also need GM giant garlic and chilli.

    Selah!

    (but then the balance of power between the robots and giant squids will be destroyed, and the robot superpower will go nuts and invade Iraq)
  • killer
    Peh.. I laugh at Robosquid. How are they going to eat children with that space hood on... unless they plan on dissolving the children and then ongesting them straight into thier stomachs.. in which case I take back said 'peh'.
  • badger
    Matty Mclennan should be able to supply you with an appropriate dongle for your robo-harlot there killer
  • Blazin Billy Zabka
    I like how you "sexied" up the Serverbot by way of subtle-logo-placement...needs bigger hoo-hoos but!...still, right on par with Raf's 4-monitor-Frankenputer...

    anyone willing to take the over/under on which happens first?

    1) My pre-paid "WCRR50sKG" t-shirt is promptly mailed to my home;

    OR

    2) Robosquid...
  • Barney
    Don't sell yourself short there, Ms Lee... You're just as sexy as that robo-bitch. You just lack the necessary storage capacity to satisfy the Kilbot. We all do. It is our inherent human shortcomings in this area that make us all so damn jealous of that saucy little minx and the hold she has over our boy Killer.

    And I would venture to guess that if anyone told you they could only love you if you were servile to their every wish, there would be some mugs hitting walls in North Fitzroy.
  • ms lee
    Now that I see the sexy robo-bitch that replaced my human friendship, I realise the idiocy of my recent attempts to make contact with you.

    Sorry to waste your time when such important projects beckoned.
  • RoboSquid
    ALL HAIL ROBOSQUID, MASTER OF YOUR PUNY UNIVERSE (OR PUNIVERSE IF YOU PREFER)!!!

    [img]http://images.usatoday.com/life/gallery/men-in-black-2/robosquid.jpg[/img]

    I SHALL EAT YOUR CHILDREN, WHETHER THEY BE ROBOTS OR SQUIDS. ONLY ROBOSQUIDS SHALL BE ALLOWED TO SURVIVE!!!!
  • killer
    I'm not lonely... just preparing for the future. We all know that it is going to come down to a war between Robots and Giant Squid. If my children are half robot at least they'll have a fighting chance... more than I can say about your progeny squid lover.
  • KL
    I should have guessed that this would happen.

    Robot love is always the best answer for the lonely guy.
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