The Kilbot Factory

gunga aloonga...

The single most hilariously delivered monologue in the history of comedy is that Dalai Lama bit... The very thought of it almost makes me fall off my chair in mirth.

what about monkey shines? i think both the film and the celebrated book based on the film deserve a mention here. particularly if you take into account the number of times geeves actually watched Monkey Shines, and the influence it has had on both his dress sense and telephone dialling technique. not to mention his love of monkeys. and gorillas, if killer is to be trusted.

There is no censorship here... now get back to work - don't you know this country is at war! An asymmetric war granted, but don't underestimate the insidious nature of our enemy, turn your back on these bastards for just a second and they will be conducting martyrdom operations in your backyard, against your children (or pets)! Is that what you want for this country? No sirree, Bob! This war is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life.

That is certifiably approved BIG DADDY GOLD!... I think there's probably even room for a follow-up scenario on what exactly Conor's moustache got up to that afternoon...

What the hell was a cop taking ya name for? Impersonating a protestor? Looking funny-looking? Reckless eyeballing? Dizam...

But really, to avoid further controversy, and to confirm a rumour I heard from your very own mouth, I think u need to straighten out Killa on that little "Best Movie" CONTROVERSY!! That's right "Killer" (if that is your real alias), your rampant censorship is reaching 1983 levels [ie the year before 1984], and we as the general complaining public, DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT GEEVES LITERALLY STATED WHEN ASKED HIS "FAVOURITE MOVIE"*....


[size=1]*coz he told me on Friday nite and I forgot, but it had waaaay more credibility than 12th Man...[/size]

<center>[size=2]The Prank[/size]</center>

Some of you may recall that up until very recently the age of consent for man on man love in Western Australia was 21, while it was 16 for that of the heterosexual variety. (No age of consent for lesbians - they legally don't have sex). Well, the Gallop regime, in one of it's few moments of actual leadership, decided to equalise the ages at 16.

'Diamond' Jim mcGinty was the Attorney General at the time, and still is, and a raft of legislation was drafted up and tabled in parliament ruling out a few types of discrimination against gays and lesbians including the age of consent one.

There was hysteria from some sections of the population. The West was flooded with letters predicting the rain of fire and brimstone, the fall of Babylon and the legalisation of child abuse. Mostlly the 'arguments' being made were against homosexuality in general, not just for 16-20 year olds. Predictable really. The Family Association organised a rally outside state parliament house, and the night previous to it a colleague and I formed the greatest organisation in the history of organisation history.

CRANKSQUAD

This squad consisted of myself, Steve E, Alex W, Conor P and Conor P's moustache. The night before the rally Steve and myself shared a bottle of whiskey while trawling through the good book - Old Testament only. We whipped up eight placards featuring passages from Exodus and Leviticus and we were ready to go.

Steve arrived at my place the following morning resplendent in an ill-fitting double breasted suit, hair plastered down, large sunglasses and a manic grin, reeking of cask wine. Conor and his moustache arrived together. Alex W sported a spiffy pair of chinos and a safari jacket. I was clad in a green velevt jacket, shirt and pasley tie with sunglasses stolen from Val Kilmer's 'Iceman' in Top Gun.

We descended upon state parliament in an innocent looking station wagon. At Solidarity Park, the union monument opposite parliament house, a small (200) rally in favour of gay law reform watched as we faux evangelists leapt from the car, our placards concealed, and headed around the corner to the front. We beheld a crowd of about 2000 cranks, holding a loft signs such as "Protect Our Boys" and "Oppose Child Abuse". Well, I'm as opposed to child abuse as the next guy (unless the next guy is Michael Jackson) but I think they were at the wrong rally. So the four of us got on to the steps of the building, almost front and centre (just to the right of Margaret Court and her podium) while half the crowd eyed us suspiciously and we held our placards aloft - two each.

Mine read "Though shall not cut the hair from they temples nor shave the edge of thy beards" and "Though shall not wear cloth woven from two kinds of yarn". Steve had one that sanctioned the sale of your daughters into slavery, Alex's read "If a man lieth with a woman during her menstrual period and uncovers the source of her discharge, they shall be unclean and driven from the community"... Conor P had the best of the lot -

"If a woman approaches a beast for intercourse slay the woman and the beast." All were properly footnoted.

There was a media frenzy around us, TV cameras, newspaper photographers - it was fucking crazy to be honest.

Before long we created a bit of a ripple in the crowd too. A woman behind us asked "Are these boys pro or for?" (pro or for?) I said we were both, Steve said "We're on the side of Leviticus".

Some people gave us the thumbs up - morons, others became irate - also morons. We got on the ABC news and they held the shot long enough for my "beards" placard to be readable and for it to become obvious that the copper next to me was writing down my name. On that subject, the chap in blue asked me "what does that sign mean to you?" I replied "Well, it's from the bible, therefore the word of God, therefore truth." He smirked. "Come on" he answered and I cracked. "Just demonstrating that if you think one part of the bible is argument enough against a law, then you must invest the same authority in the rest of it." He wasn't impressed, Alex W and I had to leave or hide our signs, so we left. Steve E, Conor P and Conor's moustache were by this time mingling with the crowd, to which Conor said "Your God condones teenage suicide does he?" much to their chagrin.

Outside Alex and I waited, Steve and Conor stalked out wildly - "They're coming out!" we formed a mini send-off team. Waving our placards and haranguing the softies and sell-outs of the protest who refused to stone Geoff Gallop and persisted with wearing cloth woven from two kinds of yarn.

"Sodom and Gomorrah, Sodom and Gomarrah" Steve announced, as though telling passengers about the availability of tea and coffee. There were some delightful exchanges:

"Do you really want to let this happen?"
"Let it happen? Hell, I was thinking about joining in."

and again...

"You don't understand anything."
"Well mate, you're either for Leviticus or you're against it, whose side are you on?"

Despite the concerns expressed by the officer who took my name and details, we failed to incite a riot, and several gay and lesbian rights activists asked if they could pose with us and our placards... and Conor's moustache.

A productive day was had by all, except the 2000 bigots - because the laws were passed, bring us up to date with 1984 South Australia.

We want prank! We want prank!

Mayhaps the phrase "his muse" would be more appropriate...

God I hated that movie, The Muse [with coked out Shazza Stone]. It stunk so bad, that the only thing stopping me from walking out on it was the fact that I was on a moving bus! And even then...

Back on topic...is Geeves "selling hotdogs"? ie any reason why his fly is undone...in Fancy's presence....in front of a computer with the superscript "XXX Hot Animal Action, Gorrila Suits, Icehouse's very own Iva Davies busted ON FILM!!"....

Further, I'd like to call out Geeves's obscure "Favourites" - I have appeared in a grand total of NONE of his favourite feature films, or books which later became the "loosely based on a true story" feature either! How can there be no room for "One of the Boys"?...and we require further elucidation on the alleged Prank...

[url=http://www.billyzabka.com]All Billy All The Time[/url]

and ubiquity

sorry Miss Curtis T. I did think of that, but the caption as it stands has a certain ring to it... surely you wouldn't mind sharing him with a man of Giovanni's stature.

A highlight of Giovanni's stay was the 'Gorilla Suit' banter on Thursday night, if only you could bottle that shit and sell it... but as HST says "Fun has no shelf life".

I think that is MY demure Fancy you are talking about...

I saw him in the letters page of the West, too...