16 Jul
2004
Your guide to the city of Perth… return of the King
Posted by Bigg Daddy Wallbuxx | Filed under: News
This is my last weekend in town, I fly out on Tuesday the 20th of July. I still want to catch up some contributors to kilbot.net… Bigg Daddy Wallbuxx, B-Diddy DubSac, Blazin' Billy Zabka… I haven't even met some of these people. Anyways, here are my movements for this weekend, hope to see y'all soon;
- Bastille Day: Giovanni Torre is having a party in West Leederville on Friday Night… French tunes, French champagne, French kissing.
- Captain Stirling: I will be at the Cap S in Nedlands from 1pm until the Dockers play at 7ish. This would be a good chance to catch up with me before I go.
- Family Food Barn: On Sunday the Greater Kilbot Family will decend on a unsuspecting eatery, and drink.
KL says:
Dockers game starts at 5.40, Kilbot.
I don't blame you for leaving early if the Crows start giving us a shafting.
I am prediciting a pretty wacky end to the season, no finals appearance, and a lot of angry purple people over the summer break.
In the words of that great poet Axl W. Rose, we need to show "just a little patience, yeeeeaaaahhhhh (whistle)."
Big Willie Scotsman says:
Ach! Ye forgot yer ole pal, tha Scoootsman ya daft cooont!
Give me a 6-pack, 1.5g o' whiz, 2.5g o' Ex, 20.5g o' sticky-icky and 2 panadols and ye shall see all 3 "Bigg" personas manifest in one point in time!
I've been out there man, where were you? Thought you mighta gone to Blast Furnace, where P4P exercised the better part of valour upon realising this was the scaled back "Living End" incarnation! Damo still f'n rawked a mean-ass Ace-inspired solo but!
What kinda partay is Giov's? Like, open?
More'n'likely I shall send Blazin Billy down to Cap S on Satdee to "word you up" on the benefits of a late-season bandwagon jump….HowzAboutDemDeez! Seriously, it's okay to admire the hanidwork of professionals, ala "They Still Call Him" Bruce, Green Machine and The Flash Davey…
And good to see the indomintable K2IzL give up the ghost on this "experiMental season", to the point where the hapless Crows are considered an "opponent"! Sure, they even beat the Mighty Deez at home, but that was the whole Neil Craig Shane Troy one-week-new-coach splurge…
I predict, and quite seriously, the longer Waterhose is playing for The Mighty Tigers, geting 30 possessions and 5 goals off the flank, the longer the drought will be for Dongers - I can't believe they have forgotten their favourite albino misbegotten son! Who the hell is Ryan Murphy? He'd better live up to his namesake and start wasting Rocca's like ED-209's! (2nd attempt…) Why turn to rookies when you're season is in the balance? At least they'll start playing The Polak back in defence where he belongs, and could've been at Reiwoldt levels by now if it wasn't for Krazy Konnolly and his ExperiMental Ways!
CAN A NIGGA GET A TABLE DANCE???
killer says:
Ahh.. Bigg Willie Scotsman, how could I forget you. I am sorry I didn't make it to the Blast Furnance gig… week nights I'm listening to Cass and Andrew on RTR, hoicking papers at the people of Subiaco to raise some $$ for the weekend.
As for the Dockers, it should be a good show, I'm tipping a return to form, and a fairytale ending whereby the Dockers knock out WCE in the western derby.
killer says:
oh yeah.. Geeves's's party should be open in every sense of the word.
o·pen adj.
1. Affording unobstructed entrance and exit; not shut or closed.
2. Completely obvious; blatant: open disregard of the law.
3. Having interspersed gaps, spaces, or intervals: open ranks; an open weave.
4. Accessible to all; unrestricted as to participants: an open competition.
5. Free from limitations, boundaries, or restrictions: open registration.
6. Enterable by registered voters regardless of political affiliation: an open primary.
7. Lacking effective regulation: an open town in which gambling predominated.
8. Not legally repressed: open drug trafficking.
9. Willing to consider or deal with something: open to suggestions.
10. Ready to transact business: The store is open.
11. Characterized by lack of pretense or reserve; candid: Please be open with me.
12. Free of prejudice; receptive to new ideas and arguments: She listened to the proposal with an open mind.
13. Generous: He is very open with his time.
14. Not stopped by a finger. Used of a string or hole of an instrument.
15. Articulated with the tongue in a low position, as the vowel in far.
Ending in a vowel or diphthong: an open syllable.
16. Being in operation; live: an open microphone.
Barney says:
"Give me a 6-pack, 1.5g o' whiz, 2.5g o' Ex, 20.5g o' sticky-icky and 2 panadols"…
I've never felt so close to a Scotsman in my life. Well, ok that one time… But this is no place for pillow talk…..
As to the Dockers, they've gotta win in Adelaide sometime, and this sure seems like the week to do it. I'm tipping a big win with a (characteristic) late fade, followed by a strong win at home to hit the eight running, before a spectacular loss in their first final in only a few weeks time.
KL, what the hell happened to you, man? It used to be about the music, about the passion, about the purple… you've really changed brother. :cry:
KL says:
Oh don't worry about me, Barney-V, I am just lowering my expectations slightly (so I don't have to spend two days in bed crying after a tough loss.)
I'm not an angry bandwaggoner, just sometimes my love doth hurteth too much.
I reckon this week could be a turning point, a breakthrough of epic proportions.
I will never jump ship, and I will always buy a membership, regardless of where we are.
I am forever linked to the Purple Juggernaut. I just think that this year will be a small step back in order to take the big leaps forward.
Life wasn't meant to be easy… :P
UNLEASH THE MAYHEM! :@
fancy dave says:
New theme song = don't worry, be happy?
We have the (arguably dubious) distinction of being the team whose supporters are most easily pleased. Not having any "good times" to reflect longingly on makes us live in the present and look to the future. Its gotten steadily better so far (with a few minor ripples) so why wouldn't that continue?
Thus every set-back is a "to be expected" "ironing-out" of "teething problems" and need not be a cause for too much stress.
I do, however, think it might be a bit of a stretch to suggest that steps back are somehow needed "in order to take big leaps forward". Let's keep perspective. A setback is a setback. Never as good as a step up.
Please don't get me wrong, though. I wear my throbbing purple heart on my sleeve, and I have faith that we're getting better. As I said at half time in the Richmond game, when we had just played the worst half of football in recent memory, "I hate the Dockers as much as anyone, but gawd I love 'em!" Then they won.
KL says:
Well said, Fancy, and beating the Crows in Adelaide was a huge step.
And now that Pavlich has played 100 games for us, we own his sons. And Hase's too.
The future looks bright.
As for my "step back", all I really meant is that last year we won nearly all our home games. This year we are learning to win vital away games. Next year we put the two together and win all the games that we should.
Barney says:
Amen to you both.
KL says:
Hey, Kilbot, are you dissing God, Perth or both? Cos no-one disses God without answering to me. :@
God, yes, *that* God says:
Hi, Allen Jakovich here, and I think i can speak for myself as opposed to being represented by a me-damn (pun!) Timberlake lover!
And for your information, I'm on a more R'n'B soul groove vibe, not country!
Hallow Be My Name, Allen!
KL says:
Let me just say, for the record, that Timberlake was the WORST concert EVER.
The end.
Blazin Billy Zabka says:
Few comments, if I may, on said weekend which has left me in this state of, uh, uh, state of shock…
1. Kilbot Internerd Meet & Greet Booze & Booze Nite should become a regular event. There should be an official photographer to capture those Roses Moments, such as the first meeting of the great vitirolic minds of Kilbot -[photo caoption] "Barney & Billy discuss the ramification of running porn spam from kilbot.net"
2. Getting introduced as "Blazing Billy Zabka" in the niteclub…as the chick stated at the time "I can't believe I'm sitting next to Killa & Billy!" - its true bitches, its true!
3. BVah's Taxi Ride De Shame - subject to an unmitigated dressing down in regards to his "luck" with said german "can't believe fifty dullars for un shnaaapper!", it was only when I noticed our illustrious cab driver (whom I thought was wearing headphones) started smirking that I decided to turn the heat up a notch….by the end of the trip Badger just wanted out in the worst way, whilst Ahmed (our driver) was yelling "Hey, Big Perm, bad luck with the Shnapper Lady!"
4. Dongers Bandwagon Jumpers - yea, I saw the lotta ya down at Cap S, pathetic! Yet even more intruiging was the lone Crows supporter in the corner of the bar who took much delight in making known his support for such a shit team whenever they went ahead in the last quarter. Truly, his pinnacle of wit was when the ominous "Freeeeeeeoooooo" chants started, he was somehow able to magically insert the word "Sux!" in between each internation! True gamesmanship!
Finally, in the mangled words of another Legend Of Kilbot, Mr Rubble, i believe your time here is nicely encapsluated by the phrase:
"Not doing to bad for a guy with a wig!"
* No blu-tack or DickTucks were used in this feature…or were they 8)
killer says:
one of my favourite quotes of the weekend came from a Jeremy P. Beard on Friday night, we talking about South of the River and how quiet it is down there:
J: We should go down there and liven things up.
K: Yeah! Like have a party on the foreshore with a PA and some decks and heaps of booze.
J: I was thinking something like Nude Art… you know, start off small.
KL says:
Nude art! :embarrest
What a true genius Mr JPB is.
Good call on that Crows supporter Blazin' Billy. I was pretty close to starting a rumble with him. And I'm a pacifist.
Barney says:
Few comments of my own:
1) KL, I would LOVE to have seen you go toe 2 toe with that moron who remained determinedly quiet for the first 7/8ths of the game before gaining sufficient chutzpah to belt out a couple of "Go the Crows" calls in those rare moments when they (or should I say Roo and Johncock) looked even remotely competent - would have been most appropriate to floor the fucker as Pav nailed the last goal, after which Kilbot could have leapt on you like some small time Byron Schammer as you raised your arms victoriously to the heavens.
2) I'm not sure that when Mr. Beard suggested nude art south of the river he wasn't in fact speaking specifically of said Fraulein and his own dubious intentions, which very well may have been later reflected in similar, some might say clumsy, intentions on the part of Mr B. Adger at some dodgy-ass wannabe underground club (note to club owner - underground is not simply a reference to status relative to street level).
3)KL, could you please refrain from ever referring to Justin Timberlake without any trace of mocking on this site again - you are making us all look bad.
4) Billy, If I recall correctly (which is doubtful), it was actually referred to as a toupe', which to me connotes less the costume gag style hairpiece and more the unfortunate and visibly misshapen coiffure we all know so well well from the glory days of Good Morning Australia with BN - I'm sure you and KBot will concur that to be thought to be wearing a wig is one thing, but to actually be thought to be covering up a bald spot, or indeed no hair at all, for the purpose of social acceptance and appearance, offers far more fodder for a prolonged faux-serious conversation with some unsuspecting young female drunkard…
In closing, a good weekend all round. A win for the Dockers. A win for the Deez. No one died…
killer says:
to KL, in response to the "are you dissing God, Perth or both?"… that picture is the first in a line of postcards I am going to produce for Perth. On Thursday last week I dashed down to Fremantle to get some postcards for Melbourne-types and was distressed at the lack of tacky postcards. 'Beach Bums' and topless girls were few and far between. So, over the next few days, I began workshoping a few ideas, I believe Barney, Nat Brunovs and Tarek all copped an earful of my postcard plans… I will whip up a few ideas over the weekend and see what the rest of you think.
badger says:
the highlight of my weekend was when I saw Blazin B's tail lights disappear off into the distance and realised I was finally free of the horrid little man
fancy dave says:
What's this about god, KL?
(lower case intentional)
Blazin Billy Zabka says:
Better than your last sight being the back end of a shovel!
I knew I shoulda dropped you off in that deserted pine forest….
KL says:
Fancy, I was just lamenting (in a rather obscure manner) that everytime I go to kilbot.net I have to see the words "god" and "asshole". It offends my little mind. And my Perth-Patriotism.
I have not suddenly found religion if that's what you are asking.
In fact, I have been reading Douglas Adams' posthumous "Salmon of Doubt", and methinks I might be converting to full-blown Atheism.
fancy dave says:
Oh, thank god.
Whoops, I mean….
Y'know….
Ummmm….
Anyway, just because our language was developed by credulous fools doesn't mean we can't use it agin' 'em. God (caps for the start of a sentence only) just isn't an idea I've (caps because I rule) got very much time for.
Actually, to be honest, I've got all the time in the world to discuss "him" with anyone who genuinely believes in "him", but if I'm preaching to the converted….
…only a couple of hours. 8)
KL says:
Nice work on that new postcard, Killer. :P
This IS my country, and I am indeed a Librarian (capital L because Librarians RULE!)