May200427

KL

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The Tale of Burley

As you may or may not know, last weeks Freo game against the Bwissie Lions was the Paterson’s Guide Dog Game.

Anyway, they had a competition to name three puppies, and I was one of the lucky winners: I suggested the name “Burley” for Luke McPharlin’s puppy. It’s a long story, but basically the name came to me in a dream, so I am some kind of crazy soothsaying psychic.

So, Lou and I got to go to a corporate function before the game, have an excellent lunch, tank up on free booze, and generally run amok with the VIPs.

Then we got ushered down to the oval at about 1.45 for a puppy presentation and a quick interview with that uber-hack Orion from 92.9.

Standing on the oval was a very bizarre and surreal experience. Not something you get to do every day. Luckily we had my dad’s digicam, so we were able to document the moment for your enjoyment.

If you are lucky you will be able to check our photos here.

(If the interweb decides that it won’t let you see the pics, I will sort something out next week.)

Oh yeah, and the Dockers crushed the Lions like BUGS. All in all a pretty mintox day.

  • Ogre
    Me Grimlock! Me no likee when get wet! WhiteDogg hand ass to Grimlock! ARGH!

    "Just The Good Ole Deez...
    Never hurtin' no-one..."

    I invite all Dockers "supporters" to expound their deluded theories on why they just can't match it with the big boys...
  • KL
    Thats Jagger and Micky Jackson in a state of shock.

    Would you believe that Matty Milner was completely unaware of this songs existence until I told him about it?

    As for your deluded tirade... well, let's just say that the image of Meat Axe "pulling from Block 332" while watching guys runa round in shorts makes a lot of (gay) sense.
  • Mr Mighty Deez
    Yeah, may as well concede defeat...but instead of doing that, I think I will go out on a limb and predict a 422 point drubbing, with NeitDogg to bag 11, WhiteDogg with 92 hitouts, Brad Green to kick 8.0 and (my namesake!) J.Rivers to convert his first AFL goal sending the Subiaco oval into a state - uh, uh - state of shock! (Mick Jagger and who?...)

    We play "home" games in Brisbane, it don't mean shit, especially when you have a Former State Air Guitar Champion pulling from Block 332, seat B1!...

    Oh yes, and The Ogre will be cooling his heels under a bridge somewhere. As we all know, he shrinks to the size of Hazelnutz's cock in wet weather...

    Prepare to eat blue & red shit*

    *NB: this does not imply that the Deez are shit, rather moreso it implies that Dockers are shiteaters, and we shall be supplying said shit for said consumption!

    DEEZ4PREM2004 - NOLOLABOUTIT!
  • fancy dave
    And anyway, Jerry, what are you on about? The game's in Subi, and last time I checked, the "mighty" dees didn't have the best record in WA. Sorry to burst your hot-air bubble, but prepare yourself for reality.
  • fancy dave
    The ogre will also grind his bones to make said bread.
  • Barney
    Amen to that.
  • KL
    I think you will find that The Ogre Sandilands will return this week and grind "WhiteDogg" (as you so gayly call him) into a messy pulp to spread on his bread to eat with his gruel.

    Freo beat Brisbane -> Brisbane beat Melbourne -> Freo beat Melbourne.

    It's just a basic causal loop, my friend.
  • Mighty Deez
    Seriously, don't even bother this week - it's called a cakewalk/ canter and Im not really sure you guys are up for 2 in 2 weeks :)....

    U boyz is stuck in the Prelim Finals TimeWarp, and will *never* beat a Melbourne team in Melbourne/ Colonial in a pressure situation...

    And continued luck to "New Age Ruck" JLo as he gets his rucking ass handed to him by The Master aka WhiteDogg!
  • Barney
    That is a question to which there is only one answer - we were scared. Scared like a high school 2nd 18 facing up to the state team. Scared like Mercury 4 in a dance battle with NKOTB. Scared like Brendan Fevola at the prospect of ever being asked to try and stop Fraser Gerhig again while being as far from his own comfort zone as Medhurst was from the ball for most of Friday night's game. Scared as... well you get the picture.

    We were scared, and we played like it. We'll need a strong showing against the Deez this week if we're going to retain any credibility or sense of consistency in the eyes of the opposition...
  • KL
    I hear ya Barns... no kudos for me.

    And why didn't we manage to smash the Prince of Turds?
  • Barney
    And where's your props? Your kudos on the Dockers website?? You should be front page with that shit... You, Luke and Burley talking strategy or some shit.
  • Barney
    Right on KL. Good name, man. But what the fuck's the deal with Topaz and Flash? if it didn't have to have any relevance to footy, then what's the point? Why not call them Fido and Spot?? I just don't understand...

    On another front, look the fuck out Jimmy Hird, you snivelling cock-eyed umpire-humping, nancy-boy faggety-ann-and-andy... We're comin' to get you!! :@
  • B-Diddy DubSac
    With respect to query (1) - i name my pieces of shit better than that! look, there goes Theo Huxtable...

    For gags: read query (4a) then response (2)...

    And, in regards to query (3)

    (in Arnie-voice, circa 1988 - Predator-mode)

    "You loook liyke a leetel girul wit yoare giruly scuff...wot de hell arrre you? A hummusexuwal?"
  • KL
    Good questions, let me address them in order:

    1) Topaz and Flash. Lame!

    2) He liked the taste of my man flesh.

    3) Of course it was me, I also played Centre Half Back.

    4a) Orion is a freakin' toolosaurus, but only half as bad as Zara and Troy (because there are two of them).

    4b) Because you usually have other cool things going on around you, so you just block out their tooliness. I actually have no memory of even speaking to Orion at all. He just slipped straight off my brain cells.

    5) Dream on mofo.
  • B-Diddy DubSac
    Queries:
    1) What was names of other dogs?

    2) Why was Burley always biting you/ what did you do to it you monster?

    3) Is that you leading the team out thru the banner in SMALLdockersbanner.jpg ?

    4a) Orion - Tool? The Whole Toolbox? Massive Freaking ToolShaped Toolio Iglesis?

    4b) Isn't it funny when you meet Tools (for me Zara & Troy) and u know they are Tools, yet even then, u never say it to their face and carry on happylike...why is that?

    5) How devestated will you feel when you next hit Subiaco, June 6, only to find your overachieving team down by 258 points at half time against the all-conquering Mighty Deez?

    $BDW$
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