Four weeks into the new year and I am almost ready to get out of the holiday mode and focus on the work at hand… not today obviously, it’s a Friday, but after this weekend it’s back to all things work-like and technical, including this ‘ere website. First of all I gots to bring the site up to date with all the events of the last month, apologies if you find it a little dated but such things are important for posterity.
New Year's Report.
All a bit of a blur really, but then again if it wasn’t I’d want my money back (he says jabbing an elbow in her chest).
My night started in the afternoon with a little hair prep… mum was kind enough to put in a little red fin, not so much for new years eve but for the Perth Cup the next day, where the red fin would compliment my reddish suit. Next it was to Barney’s for a few warm-up G&T’s, and I seem to remember Fancy Dave whipping up the first of his “Punch Fancy’s”. Around 11pm we packed a station wagon and Curtis T. did the drive to City Beach for New Year's at Tony, Gav and Devo’s, a quiet house party with good conversations and some more of Fancy’s gin mixes. At 3am we headed back to Barney’s so Curtis T., Cass and Andrew could take over the reigns at RTR. Fancy mixed up the last “Fancy Gin Punch”, I actually didn’t remember drinking this punch until the next day when I went outside and saw the empty bucket with ladle. At 8am me and Barney suited up and ventured out into the early morning sun with Roly Nattrass and headed to the Perth Cup.
B-Diddy DubSac says:
Geez, that was pretty brief and devoid of debauchery! Remember, the devil is in the details!
(Hey, those who can't lactate - alliterate!)
Example, how you wouldn't leave the RTR studio until they forcibly played Kilbot.net #1 Smash Hit "Mercury 4 - Got To Get Me Some Of That"
Shoulda told me you were in Roly's tent - I know the DJ ;) - not the incumbent DJ Slow-Retirement, but rather DJ Afrikaan Raks, who says the closest he ever came to killing a man here in Perth, was at last years Perth Cup, to a man known to the masses as Kev Gill!! Apparently Kev's DJ skillz of removing the vinyl from the package, then replacing them [i] in the DIRT [/i] is not how Carl Cox does it…
Was Ms Killa using a permanent based 'roxide or just spray? Hows Ms. Killa with full-head peroxiding, punters want to know!!
Big Dub
killer says:
sorry DubSac, I know it was a little brief, I just wanted to regurgitate a little to get the old saliva glands working and then the stories will flow… like Roly's plan to get Barney into Perth Cup, "What we'll do, Barney, is get you to carry in heaps of stuff, umbrellas and records and shit, a big rambling pile of bullshit and you just bumble your way through the gate."
… ahh the sight of Barney stacked up to the gills with gear, stumbling and swaying his way to the gate, dropping shit as he goes, was priceless. and of course he was the only one they stopped to check.
Barney says:
"Bumbling Barney…fucking BUMBLING, man…"
Roly had fixed me with the kind of stare that generally makes me feel a little uneasy - the one where he tilts his head to the side and shifts his eyes back and forth between you and the relative innocents around you.
"I want fucking umbrellas FALLING OFF YOU, MAN!"
"SERIOUSLY!!! FUCKING BUMBLING, MAN!"
He was loading an increasingly ridiculous amount of pure trash onto the already ludicrously disorganised pile of rubble spilling from my arms.
I found myself smiling at the very 'Rolandesque' idea that by attracting outrageous attention to my already relatively conspicous form, we could slip one under the radar of these visibly hungover and undoubtedly inept security staff.
The coup de grace was to slip the flourescent green wrist band - which in other circumstances could have procured him a comfortable hummer on the way in - around my right wrist.
I hefted the load up and staggered my way towards the gate through which Roly and a tall skinny man slightly vaguely resembling a cross between Killer and the devil himself, had recently strolled. They having had no more than a cursory glance on their way in, I felt sure that through Roly's so called "Bumbling Theory" I was all set to show those fuckers a clean set of heels, until it happened…
B-Diddy DubSac says:
This is great - like Choose Ya Own Adventure!….
What happened next was:
(a) they escorted you directly to the "Obvious Smugglers" tent?
(b) they thought anyone carrying that much crap must be a terrorist and opened fire?
(c) the "Bullshit Detector" was already alert as soon as Killa started eyeing off the bouncers, with his steely have-at-you-debaonaire styles…so when his "posse" came within 200 metres of the joint, smoke was billowing!
(d) And thennnn? No, there is no more "and thenn"! And thennnnnn?
This better finish with Killa getting action with the West Aussie cast of Blue Heelers….;)
KL says:
I better not be "DJ Slow-Retirement", bi-atch. Pitty the sine on the runny kine! (Yes I finally saw the gold of Pootie Tang, on the last day of my holidays).
Kilbot Ma says:
Red Fin ???
Who loves ya baby
KL says:
Nice work, Mother Kilbot, but aren't you concerned that your son is looking more and more like an emaciated Hunter S. Thompson clone? It's getting freaky!